By Timothy Williams, Senior Director of Formation and Leadership Development
It is from St. John of the Cross that we get the phrase “dark night of the soul,” which we use to describe a crisis of faith in which we are plagued by doubts about God, our souls, and our church. It is through such dark nights that our saints and blessed were led to holiness, and to the light that they shared.
Bl. Frédéric, who lived only forty years, went through his period of doubt at a young age, about sixteen. Doubting his faith and his very existence, he struggled to harmonize faith and reason. With the gentle guidance of his teacher and guide, Abbé Noirot, he ultimately found peace when he begged God to shine the light of His truth. In exchange, he dedicated his life to defending and sharing that light, a commitment he would fulfill in both his words and his deeds – especially in serving the poor, shining God’s truth through his actions. [Baunard, 10-11]
St. Louise de Marillac, struggling through her son’s difficulties, financial strain, and her husband’s mortal illness, faced her own dark night. Blaming herself for all of her troubles, she questioned the church, the possibility of eternal life, and even considered abandoning her sick husband. Like Frédéric, she turned to prayer, begging for God’s comfort and reassurance on the Feast of Pentecost, 1623. [SWLM, 1] She received in return the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, showing her a pathway through the darkness. She called it her lumière, her light. She wrote it down and carried it with her for the rest of her life, sharing God’s light with others through her words and her example.
St. Vincent de Paul’s experience was different, in that he asked for his dark night. While chaplain to Queen Marquerite, a famous doctor, also on the Queen’s court, was suffering crippling and even suicidal doubts. Despite Vincent’s counsel, they persisted. In his own prayers, Vincent asked God to transfer the man’s doubts to him. The doctor died in peace with the Lord, but for several years, Vincent lived through the torment of the doubts that he had taken upon himself. During this time, he could not even recite the Apostle’s Creed, so he sewed it inside his cassock, near his heart. Each time he wished to make an act of faith, he would touch his hand to his heart. He finally emerged from his dark night with a firm vow to dedicate himself to the imitation of Christ and service to the poor. [Abelly, Bk III, 113-116]
It is not the darkness of doubt that leads to holiness of life, but the light that emerges from it, a light that unites us with God. It is a light we are called to share, just as our saints and founders shared their light throughout their lives. As Vincent taught, “Even if you never said a word, if you’re really united with God, you’ll touch hearts by your mere presence…” [CCD XII:15] In the neighbor, we are called to see the suffering Christ, to share in his suffering, to walk with him in his darkness. We do this in imitation of Christ, sharing, through our presence and loving service, a light that shines in the darkness.
Contemplate
Does my loving service “shine a light” on my neighbor?
Are people responding to this, or, at least reading it? I hope so. It is a beautifully written contemplation.
I’ve often wondered why in providing birthday parties for our shelter clients, we don’t also offer very brief spiritual reflections. Something simple and to the point, as this writing is …. We needn’t refer to the Biblical texts (at least, not more than one). In offering a reflection, we inspire people to believe in themselves. They come to see their personal challenges in others, and in those who might have walked the earth centuries ago. “If that guy could do it, then, so can I!”
Whenever we have allowed time for prayers and reflection at our church dinners for the poor, the people eating with us are happier and more serene. The blessing is given by someone other than those of us at St Vincent de Paul– usually a parish priest. The benefit of this is for diners to realize that Many People are on their side. “Sharing the stage,” so to speak, allows them to hear this harmony. That many different voices support them.