Love That Listens, Love That Endures
My Dear Vincentian Sisters and Brothers,
In case your calendar hasn’t told you yet, Valentine’s Day is next week. (You’re welcome if I just kept you from being in BIG trouble with your significant other!) That means the stores will be filled with red hearts, chocolates, and cards with sweet messages, and there will be maybe a bit of pressure to “prove” our love with the right gesture at the right time. But beyond all the dinners, roses and romance, this day has a much deeper story, one that, I believe, speaks directly to who we are as Vincentians and to the way we love Christ in those who are poor.
Historically, Valentine’s Day is linked to Saint Valentine, a Christian martyr remembered not for candy, but for courageous love. Over time, the Church’s memory of a faithful disciple’s love for Christ became intertwined with the human desire to love and be loved, to belong to someone and to know that our life matters to another. At its best, Valentine’s Day asks a very spiritual question: “Who has your heart, and how do they know?”
The Gospel answers that question in a way that challenges us. Jesus tells us that our love for God is proven not only in prayer and worship, but in how we love our neighbor: “The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these” (Mark 12:31). Saint John goes even further: “Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action” (1 John 3:18).
On Valentine’s Day, when the whole world is talking about love, we have a chance to remember that Christian love is more than a feeling. It is a decision, a way of life, a concrete choice to seek the good of another; even when there is no ‘thank you,’ no bouquet of roses, no card in return.
That kind of love is exactly how we live through our vocation as Vincentians. Saint Vincent de Paul was clear that it is not enough to say we love God and the poor; our love must move our feet, our hands, and our hearts. “It is not sufficient for me to love God if I do not love my neighbor. I belong to God and the poor.”
Vincent knew that charity was not simply about giving things, but about giving ourselves. One famous line attributed to him captures this beautifully: “It is only for your love alone that the poor will forgive you the bread you give to them.” In other words, people in need can find food, clothing, or help in many places, but what they are most hungry for is the love, respect, and dignity that you bring with you.
Scripture reinforces this. In Proverbs we read, “Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will reward them for what they have done” (Proverbs 19:17). Matthew teaches us that Jesus himself made it clear that in serving the least, we serve him: “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” (Matthew 25:40). That is the deepest “Valentine” of all: the Lord identifies himself with the poor and says, ‘If you love me, you will love them.’
Blessed Frédéric Ozanam understood that love was never meant to stay locked in our hearts; it must overflow into friendship, community, and service. Writing about the early days of the Society, he explained that God placed in our souls not only a need for family, but also a need for friends and relationships built on shared faith and purpose. The strongest bond, he said, is charity itself, and “charity cannot exist in the hearts of several without gushing over; it is a fire which is extinguished without nourishment, and the nourishment of charity is good works.”
For Frédéric, love was never just inward or private. The group of young students who gathered in Paris and formed the Society did not simply want to reassure each other that they believed; they wanted to prove their love of Christ by loving the poor. Out of that desire came what Ozanam called “a universal network of charity,” a vision he carried in his heart; to unite the world in a single network of love and justice.
That same fire burns in you when you leave your home to make a visit, when you listen patiently to someone’s story, when you defend the dignity of a neighbor who has been dismissed or ignored. You are the modern answer to Frédéric’s youthful dream.
So, what does all this have to do with Valentine’s Day next week? The world measures love in gifts and grand gestures; but Vincentian love is measured in presence, patience, and perseverance. Think for
- You give the gift of time, often the most precious thing you have to offer. In a culture that is always rushing, you slow down enough to sit, listen, and really see the person in front of you.
- You give the gift of dignity, making sure that your neighbor is treated as a guest, not a case number, because, as Saint Vincent said, “Charity is the cement which binds communities to God and persons to one another.”
- You give the gift of hope, reminding people who are discouraged that God has not forgotten them, that the Church stands with them, and that there is a community ready to walk beside them.
Sometimes, love feels like a glow in the heart. Other times, as Vincent admitted, “Charity is a heavy burden to carry, heavier than the kettle of soup and the full basket.” Yet he encouraged his followers to keep their gentleness and their smile, because our neighbors are “terribly sensitive and exacting masters,” and the more difficult the encounter, “the more love you must give them.”
On the Valentine holiday next week, when love will often be portrayed as effortless and glamorous, you will embody the kind of love that rolls up its sleeves, accepts the weight of another’s suffering, and keeps going.
An Invitation for this Valentine’s Day
So, as Valentine’s Day approaches, I invite you to see it as more than a date on the calendar. Let it be a small examen of the heart for each of us as Vincentians.
- Is there a neighbor in need whom I have grown impatient with or discouraged about, maybe someone Christ is asking me to love again, more patiently, more tenderly?
- Is there a fellow Vincentian I need to encourage, thank, or reconcile with, so that our friendship in Christ shines more brightly?
- Is there a family member or friend who needs to hear, in simple words, “I love you, and I’m grateful for you,” so that the charity we show outside the home is also alive within it?
Saint Paul reminds us of what Christian love looks like in real life: “Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude… It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:4, 7). You bring that passage to life every time you knock on a door, answer a phone, pack a food box, or sit with someone who is lonely.
My prayer for you this Valentine’s Day is simple: that you will know how deeply you are loved by God; that you will feel the gratitude of the Church and of the Society; and that you will find renewed joy in the quiet, often hidden ways you live the Gospel of love. As one modern reflection found on Hallow about Saint Vincent puts it, to love generously is to “serve without expecting some reward… to be solely concerned about giving; to give our whole self.”
Thank you for the countless “Valentines” you have already given in Christ’s name, acts of love that will never be printed on a card or posted on social media, but which are, instead, written forever in the heart of God.
With gratitude and affection in Christ,
John
